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Power Rankings

Either I've got an incredibly overactive spam filter on my e-mail, or everyone agreed with last week's rankings. Because I got zero e-mails regarding the rankings. None, zip, nada. That's fine by me, though. It gives me more time to bask in the glow of San Diego's imminent rise to the top of the AFC, thank you very much.

I could come out here and say all sorts of ludicrous things, just to stir the pot and get some correspondence going. But that's not me. Besides, I think the real reason for the lack of e-mailing this week is because my rankings are perfect. Every single team is right where they should be, and I haven't given too much or too little credit to anyone. These are the most flawless rankings you'll find anywhere on the Internet, perhaps in the history of the Internet. Or the history of the world for that matter. Obviously, there is no way anyone could do a better job than I have already done on these, and I thank you for agreeing with me 100%.

Any other comments/questions/complaints/death threats should be e-mailed to me at the following address: If selected, your e-mail will appear in this space next week.

Rk - Team Name - Record (Last week)

  1. Indianapolis Colts 7-0 (1)
    I know all signs have pointed to this being the Colts' year, but this week will really tell us for sure.
  2. 2. Pittsburgh Steelers 5-2 (2)
    Anyone else a little concerned with how often Big Ben is suffering from some sort of big hurt?
  3. Cincinnati Bengals 6-2 (3)
    If you Palmer owners can wade through the next five weeks (Baltimore twice, Pittsburgh, and Indianapolis, plus a bye week), the playoff weeks look to be ripe.
  4. Denver Broncos 6-2 (4)
    Meet the 2005 NFL rushing champ, Tamikum Anderbellson.
  5. New England Patriots 4-3 (5)
    It's rare that one game can boost or lower expectations so much. This week, the Patriots are likely getting either a +4 or a -4 bump based on what happens versus Indy.
  6. Atlanta Falcons 5-2 (6)
    Meet the default best team in the NFC.
  7. Dallas Cowboys 5-3 (11)
    Normally, simply doing what you're supposed to do doesn't earn a four-spot jump. In this instance, their case has been building for awhile now.
  8. Philadelphia Eagles 4-3 (7)
    Does anyone realize how close this team is to being 1-6?
  9. San Diego Chargers 4-4 (12)
    I'm sorry, but I'm compelled to move them up a bunch. Watching them, one gets the sense that they can beat any team in the league, .500 record or not.
  10. Jacksonville Jaguars 4-3 (8)
  11. Seattle Seahawks 5-2 (10)
    This week marks the beginning of the second half run to 12-4, at worst 11-5. Mark it down, and don't forget to congratulate me when I'm right.
  12. New York Giants 5-2 (16)
    I heard that someone who was very important in the Giants organization passed away last week, but I haven't found anything on the news or Internet about it. Anyone have any idea who it was?
  13. Carolina Panthers 5-2 (13)
    Thank goodness I drafted Steve Smith in all of my leagues LAST year.
  14. Kansas City Chiefs 4-3 (14)
    Not for nothing, but how come Brett Favre was a national hero for playing on Monday night several years ago after the passing of his father, but Trent Green plays two days after his own father's passing and it's just a blip?
  15. Washington Redskins 4-3 (9)
    OK, I guess I WAS an idiot for keeping them in the top ten.
  16. Saint Louis Rams 4-4 (17)
    Great job staying afloat with several big guns out of the lineup.
  17. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 5-2 (15)
    8-8 is looking more and more likely.
  18. Chicago Bears 4-3 (19)
    Eight wins should just about do it in that division, and they're well on their way to a title and an automatic first round loss.
  19. Miami Dolphins 3-4 (20)
    Nothing like a little Saints to get yourselves back on the winning track.
  20. Detroit Lions 3-4 (18)
    Being a game down to Chicago, and having already lost twice now to the Bears, Detroit's division title hopes pretty much just went up in smoke this week.
  21. Oakland Raiders 3-4 (22)
    Let's not jump off the Kerry Collins train just yet. Remember how good he was last season without Moss at all?
  22. Buffalo Bills 3-5 (21)
    The Bills earn the customary "nothing comment" of the week this time.
  23. New York Jets 2-5 (23)
    As if the season could get any worse, now news comes down that Vinny Testaverde is getting older by the day!
  24. Baltimore Ravens 2-5 (24)
    I was in shock - SHOCK - watching Jamal Lewis perform on Monday night. I didn't realize he had the ability to average more than three yards per carry.
  25. Cleveland Browns 2-5 (25)
    Well, they're still in games - but they should be better than simply being "in" games against the likes of Detroit and Houston.
  26. Minnesota Vikings 2-5 (26)
    After the Culpepper injury, I bet the Vikings WISHED their biggest problem was off-field conduct.
  27. Arizona Cardinals 2-5 (27)
    You know who is bad? The Arizona Cardinals. Good thing I didn't pick them to win the NFC West. Sure, I could have gone the rest of the year without bringing that up and maybe no one would've remembered. Yep, probably should have done that instead.
  28. Tennessee Titans 2-6 (28)
    Let's think about this: they've lost to the likes of the Rams, Cardinals, and Raiders. They've only beaten the Texans and Ravens. Doesn't get much worse than that.
  29. Green Bay Packers 1-6 (29)
    Five of their losses are by a combined 16 points, so they've had some tough breaks. Of course, losses to Cleveland, Tampa (at home), and Minnesota are in there as well, so it's not like it's simply been bad luck. You've got to win games like those.
  30. New Orleans Saints 2-6 (30)
    They've given up at least twenty points all but once so far. In other words, it's a typical Saints defense.
  31. San Francisco 49ers 2-5 (31)
    You think longtime 49er fans ever would have thought they'd see the day they'd witness "Dorsey to Morton"?
  32. Houston Texans 1-6 (32)
    Well, they're on the board. But they're still historically bad.

Super Shufflers Of the Week (+)

  1. Dallas Cowboys and New York Giants (tied) +4…I'm a bit late to the Giants party, and should have given them a bigger bump after beating Denver last week. Dallas should have been higher after trashing the Eagles several weeks ago, so this was also a long time coming.
  2. San Diego Chargers +3…The games they've lost could all have easily been wins, especially against Dallas and Philly. It's time I stopped worrying about bumping them, because they've proven how good they are.

Plungers Of the Week (-)

  1. Washington Redskins -6…Not necessarily a fair drop, but the various teams around them all had valid reasons to be ranked higher.
  2. Jacksonville Jaguars, Tampa Bay Bucs, Detroit Lions (tied) -2…As I've said before, a two spot drop is not significant really. In the cases of these teams, the losses were all to teams that you'd like to have seen them beat.
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