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Random Shots - Week 12

A Twisted Look at The NFL Every Week And All That Goes With It

Hi Folks,

Here's what happens when you sit an NFL Junkie down in front of
multiple big screens with Sunday Ticket and fresh batteries in the

A Twisted Look at The NFL Every Week And All That Goes With It

By Joe Bryant

First off, let me wish you and yours a very Happy Thanksgiving. I'm
incredibly thankful to be able to write this column each week. I'm
even more thankful for the 28 guys (and my Mom) who read it.
Seriously, thanks.

Ron Wolf did a lot of great things for the Packers when he was there.
But he didn't seem to have any problem throwing them under the bus
this week. Said Wolf, "This is the big leagues. It's not Aunt Fannie's
Taffy Pull. You have to play big-league players. They don't have a
running back. Maybe that kid (RB Samkon Gado) had an off night, but
those other two guys (RBs Tony Fisher and ReShard Lee) are NFL Europe
players." That may well be true. But still sort of surprising to hear
him say it publicly.

Tell Eagles fans and Donovan McNabb there's nothing to that Madden
Video Game Cover Curse....

I guess turnabout is fair play with the Hard Luck Awards. Here's a
couple of plays from last Sunday:

SD QB Brees 9 yard pass to the 2 to RB Neal (Tomlinson TD)
SD QB Brees 2 yard pass to the 2 to RB Tomlinson (Brees to Neal TD)

Penn State's legendary coach Joe Paterno has seen a lot of players
come and go. And he said that Seattle's Bobby Engram was the finest
player he'd ever coached. That's strong.

Former Bronco Terrell Davis said on NFL Network's Total Access that
his favorite uniforms were the Raiders road whites. I bet that went
over well in Denver.

I bet President Bush would trade approval ratings with Reggie Bush.

Speaking of that, I have no idea how Reggie Bush is able to run that
fast with everyone hanging on his jock. I think he'll be a good pro
but forgive me for going against the crowd and asking him to play a
few games before we put him in Canton. He's listed at 200 pounds but
looks a lot closer to 190 to me.

Once again, the Eagles' regular season is pretty much settled by
Thanksgiving. But this isn't the normal result.

Randy Moss has made some rumblings about not seeing enough passes.
Mike Irvin was pretty funny on ESPN when he said that if Moss wanted
to see more work, it was simple:  "Learn how to run routes and play
the whole game and you'll see more passes."

Patriots QB Tom Brady brought out the left hand glove for the first
time this season. Just because I know you guys need to know that.

Flashback from the Week 9 Random Shots:  "Eric Allen was on ESPN radio
and laughed pretty hard at the question of whether Chicago was a
contender for the NFC crown. They're not my Super Bowl pick for the
NFC but I'm not laughing hard at the guy who wants to make that case.
Kyle Orton is getting better fast." I bet Eric Allen isn't laughing

Along those lines, at one point early in the game Sunday, Carolina QB
Jake Delhomme was 1 for 5 for 6 yards and 2 interceptions. Kyle Orton
was 4 of 9 for 23 yards and 1 touchdown with no interceptions.

Dumbest smack talk I've seen in a while. Mike O'Malley from Yes Dear
claiming he "knows martial arts" and challenging Browns Strength and
Conditioning coach John Lott to "come on down". You may remember Lott
from the NFL combine. He's the guy running the bench press testing
exhorting the guys to "get their stinkin' minds right." He'd also
squash a pudgy dweeb like O'Malley without batting an eye.

Second biggest dweeb I saw this week  the guy hyping the NFL
Network's Football America show and his "Turkey Bowl" pickup football
game. He looks like the guy from Wedding Crashers.

Nice scene before the Rams  Cardinals game as Kurt Warner returned to
St. Louis. Lots of hugs and smiles. And he looked pretty good during
the game too.

Commercial question. Have you seen the one for KFC chicken where the
rocket scientist guy is laughed at by the lady? How do they cast that
part for her? Do they really run a thing saying they're looking for a
middle aged plain looking woman possessing a huge overbite and a
really annoying cackle?

The Bengals ran a nice onside kick at the end of the game. They lined
up most of their guys on the right side like a normal onside kick but
instead Shayne Graham kicked it deeper to the left. It almost worked.
Aside from the surprise, the beauty was that if the Bengals had
recovered, they'd have been much closer to the goal than a normal
onside kick would have put them.

Attorney David Cornwell is calling Drew Rosenhaus the "Kevorkian of
Sports Agents". That's pretty good.

Oh yeah, J.P. Losman's going to solve all the Bills' problems....

Welcome back Billy Cundiff. The Cowboys brought the kicker back and he
delivered with a record breaking field goal from 56 yards out.

I don't see enough people talking about the transformation made by
Jake Plummer. He's gone from one of the most reckless interception
prone quarterbacks in the league to "No Mistake Jake".

Here's the Brandon Lloyd catch again in case you missed it.
If he can manage to bring his mental game up to match his physical skills, he'll be a
scary player.

The Bears sacked Jake Delhomme eight times Sunday. Even more
impressive, every sack was from one of the front four linemen. Watch
out for a team that can put that kind of pressure and still have seven
guys in coverage.

Note to Chiefs defensive coordinator Gunther Cunningham:  Bono called
and wants his glasses back.

How tough is it in Miami? Marty Booker saw eight passes thrown his way
and didn't record a catch. Randy McMichael had five passes thrown to
him and failed to record an official catch. To make it even worse,
McMichael had a TD reception nullified by a penalty.

Aaron Brooks passed Archie Manning on the Saints all time passing TD
list. For what that's worth.

As if you needed another reason to believe in the Special Teams and
Turnovers theory, I'll offer up Tampa Bay over Atlanta from Week 11.

Note to Falcons coach Jim Mora:  When it's 3rd and 22 from your own 1
yard line and the backup QB has just entered the game, run the ball.

Mora was classic at his Monday press conference. He opened with a "I
hate excuses" little speech and then started rambling off excuses why
his team lost Sunday.

Picture worth a thousand words in the Jets game Sunday. Chad
Pennington looked on from the sidelines with his earpiece hanging
around his neck watching Kliff Kingsbury attempt to quarterback his

Big day for Rutgers Sunday. Mike McMahon became the first Rutgers
alumnus in NFL history to complete a pass to another Rutgers alum when
he found tight end L.J. Smith.

Have you ever seen J.P. Losman and Opera Man in the same room? 
Me neither.

Thanks to all the Colts fans emailing me. I still don't think they'll
go undefeated. Although that was a big win Sunday. After a cakewalk
schedule, it's getting tough for sure. Of course I'm contractually
obligated to mention the 1972 Dolphins now that I've said something
about Indy. Here's a note you may not know  Miami's 1972 regular
season schedule was a joke. The best team they played during the
regular season finished the year just two games over .500 at 8-6.

Can you remember way back when Jamal Lewis didn't suck?

Does it seem odd to you that Larry Johnson now holds the single game
Kansas City rushing record. Seems even more odd that the guy who held
it before Johnson was Barry Wood.

ESPN's Mike Greenberg is seriously predicting the Jets will not score
another offensive touchdown this year. Yikes. He can't be right. Can

More Jets woes:  Curtis Martin needed 26 yards to reach 14,000 career
yards Sunday. He didn't even come close rushing 4 times for only 7

The Jacksonville players enjoyed rubbing the Titans nose in it Sunday.
Some felt they went a little too far. Said Titans linebacker Keith
Bullock on the January 1 rematch, "I hope to God that game is for them
to go to the playoffs. That is fine if they are enjoying it. They need
to get their enjoyment right now because when we come back and if I'm
on this team, I am putting my foot to their throat and I am choking
everybody out.". Keith Bullock is not a guy I'd want on my bad side.

Cowboys offensive tackle Rob Petitti was kicked in the head during
Sunday's game and reported that he was feeling the effects. Coach Bill
Parcells was asked about him Monday. "He seemed fine today. But him
being a little dizzy is kind of normal." I love that guy.

Paul Edinger's game winning field goal Monday Night would have been
good if the goal posts were four feet wide.

Best ad I saw this week:  Miller Lite's court scene where rapper
Flavor Flav is introduced as an expert taste witness based on his

Joe Horn is unhappy. There's a shocker.

You may not like some of the TD celebrations but if you didn't like
Chad Johnson's "proposal" where he ran over to one of the Bengal
Cheerleaders and got down on one knee, you need to loosen up.

Hard Luck Awards will be renamed the Brandon Jacobs Awards for this week

NYG RB Jacobs rush for no gain from the 1
NYG RB Jacobs rush for no gain from the 1
NYG RB Jacobs rush for no gain from the 1 (Yes, 3 times. Manning to Toomer TD)
NE QB Brady 23 yard pass to TE Watson to the 5
NE RB Pass 3 yard rush to the 2 (Brady to Branch TD)
NE QB Brady 29 yard pass to RB Pass to the 2
NE RB Evans 1 yard rush to the 1 (Brady to Vrabel TD)
DET QB Harrington 30 yard pass to WR Williams to the 2 (Jones TD)
PHI RB Westbrook 14 yard rush to the 1 (McMahon TD)
MIA QB Rosenfels 23 yard TD pass to TE McMichael nullified by penalty
SEA QB Hasselbeck 13 yard TD pass to WR Jurevicius reversed (Alexander TD)
CHI RB Jones 5 yard rush to the 3 (Orton to Muhammad TD)
SD QB Brees 9 yard pass to the 2 to RB Neal (Tomlinson TD)
SD QB Brees 2 yard pass to the 2 to RB Tomlinson (Brees to Neal Td)
BUF QB Losman 30 yard rush to the 3 (Losman to Shelton TD)
ATL QB Vick 14 yard pass to the 1 to TE Crumpler (Duckett TD)
ATL RB Dunn 14 yard rush to the 4
ATL RB Duckett rush for no gain from the 4 (Vick to Crumpler TD)
TB RB Pittman 6 yard rush to the 1 (Alstott TD)
DEN RB Bell rush for no gain from the 5 (Anderson TD)
DEN QB Plummer 17 yard rush to the 1 (Anderson TD)
DEN QB Plummer 20 yard TD pass to RB Bell nullified by penalty
DEN RB Sapp 2 yard rush to the 3 (Anderson TD)
BAL RB Taylor 13 yard rush to the 1 (Boller to Hymes TD)
CIN QB Palmer 6 yard pass to the 5 to WR Houshmandzadeh (Rudi Johnson TD)
CIN QB Palmer 11 yard pass to WR Henry to the 1 (Rudi Johnson TD)
IND QB Manning 8 yard pass to the 2 to WR Harrison (James TD)
JAC RB Jones 5 yard rush to the 2 (Leftwich to Brady TD)
JAC QB Leftwich 24 yard pass to the 2 to WR Smith
JAC RB Jones rush for minus 1 to the 2 (Leftwich TD)
TEN QB McNair 9 yard pass to the 1 to TE Kinney (Brown TD)
HOU QB Carr 7 yard pass to the 3 to WR Gaffney (Davis TD)
OAK QB Collins 2 yard TD pass to WR Moss nullified by penalty (Janikowski FG)

Sometimes it's better to just not know....

Thanks for playing along. I hope you have a gas with whatever you're
doing in your life. Here's to Football and Happy Thanksgiving to you
and yours.


If you've got a Random Shot of your own, shoot me an email at

Thanks to Footballguys David Dodds and Mike Purucker for the help on this one.

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