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Power Rankings

Any comments/questions/complaints/death threats should be e-mailed to me at the following address: brown@footballguys.com. If selected, your e-mail will appear in this space next week.

Rk - Team Name - Record (Last week)

  1. Indianapolis Colts 12-0 (1)
    Duh.
  2. Denver Broncos 9-3 (2)
    I still rank them ahead of the Bengals, because their only losses are at Miami, at New York, and at Kansas City (three tough road games). But the gap between 2-3 is smaller than Kyle Boller's talent.
  3. Cincinnati Bengals 9-3 (4)
    NOW I can once again justify Cincinnati ahead of Pittsburgh.
  4. San Diego Chargers 8-4 (5)
    The only thing standing between LaDainian Tomlinson and his first MVP award…
  5. Seattle Seahawks 10-2 (6)
    …is the fact that Shaun Alexander will have it wrapped up by Week 16.
  6. Chicago Bears 9-3 (7)
    This may be the quietest eight-game winning streak I've ever seen.
  7. Jacksonville Jaguars 9-3 (9)
    With their cake schedule, the top wild card slot is all but assured.
  8. Pittsburgh Steelers 7-5 (3)
    This week absolutely will make or break their season.
  9. Carolina Panthers 9-3 (10)
    If they hadn't taken care of Atlanta so handily, I was fully prepared to jump the Giants over them.
  10. New York Giants 8-4 (11)
    Have I mentioned how shocked I am to see this team controlling the division in Week 14?
  11. Dallas Cowboys 7-5 (8)
    "How NOT to play in a big spot" - by Drew Bledsoe.
  12. Kansas City Chiefs 8-4 (12)
    The Chiefs are petitioning the league to create an intentional hurricane across the entire country so that every game in 2006 must be played at Arrowhead.
  13. New England Patriots 7-5 (13)
    Can you say first round playoff exit?
  14. Tampa Bay Buccaneers 7-5 (14)
    I'd like to take this moment to thank Joey Galloway. Or more specifically, the amnesia he suffered that has enabled him to forget that he's a washed-up old man. Thank you…thank you many times over, Amnesia.
  15. Atlanta Falcons 7-5 (15)
    Boy, am I sure glad I didn't pick them to make the Super Bowl!
  16. Minnesota Vikings 7-5 (16)
    Repeat after me. This is a fluke. The Vikings are not any good. They will not make the playoffs. Repeat.
  17. Washington Redskins 6-6 (17)
    Too little and too late, but I'm still impressed with going into Saint Louis after a horrid loss and coming up with a W.
  18. Miami Dolphins 5-7 (20)
    And THAT, my friends, is why Chris Chambers is so maddening - both for fantasy owners and for Miami Dolphins ownership.
  19. Philadelphia Eagles 5-7 (18)
    That was a give up. Plain and simple - the team just quit. Didn't think I'd ever see that from an Andy Reid-coached team, but they simply quit.
  20. Saint Louis Rams 5-7 (19)
    See, the thing is…you don't get to face the Texans every week.
  21. Oakland Raiders 4-8 (21)
    Benching Kerry Collins in favor of Marques Tuiasosopo is like turning down a date with Jamie Lee Curtis because you want to hold out for Cher.
  22. Detroit Lions 4-8 (22)
    Well, it was good to see that Kevin Jones only fell about 30 carries short of the early-week projections of 30 carries for him.
  23. Buffalo Bills 4-8 (23)
    Don't know if you heard, but Eric Moulds' consecutive games streak with at least one reception ended on Sunday. In other news, my personal vomit streak is still going strong, since February 2, 1995.
  24. Baltimore Ravens 4-8 (24)
    I'd like to say I'm proud to have ranked Baltimore as low as the 9th-rated defense in the preseason, but even that was a far too generous estimate.
  25. Cleveland Browns 4-8 (25)
    Mr. Joe Bryant beat me to the punch on the Cleveland first-round pick jinx in his Random Shots article. So, you have him to thank for this article only being remarkable and not life-altering.
  26. Green Bay Packers 2-10 (26)
    See, the thing about Green Bay is tha----oh crap, what the hell?!? Dammit, Samkon Gado just fumbled coffee all over my notes and I have no idea what I was about to write.
  27. Arizona Cardinals 4-8 (27)
    Amongst QBs who have played at least three games and are still currently active for their teams, here are the fantasy rankings on a points per game basis: 1) Palmer 2) Manning 3) Brady 4) Warner.
  28. Tennessee Titans 3-9 (28)
    I don't generally cheer when people fail…but I have to say, I'm quite pleased that a guy like Pacman Jones looks like garbage every week. I'm sure he'll improve, but it's fun for now.
  29. New Orleans Saints 3-9 (29)
    It's almost as if Aaron Brooks goes out of his way to let people know he doesn't care.
  30. New York Jets 2-10 (30)
    The Jets are perhaps the truest example ever of what today's NFL is all about. They were considered a preseason Super Bowl contender. No seriously, I mean it. Go ask your grandfather.
  31. San Francisco 49ers 2-10 (31)
    By now it's fairly commonly known that Alex Smith and Reggie Bush are former high school teammates. So the question is, how badly does Smith want to play with Bush again? Badly enough to play like garbage down the stretch, enabling his team lose enough to select Bush (all while knowing his job is secure)?

    :tinfoilhat:

  32. Houston Texans 1-11 (32)
    Someone asked me yesterday if I thought the Texans were intentionally throwing games. I told them, "Nope".

Super Shufflers Of the Week (+)

No teams improved more than two slots, which isn't very meaningful.

Plungers Of the Week (-)

  1. Pittsburgh Steelers -5…A boring offense and a suddenly porous defense + yet another injury to the franchise QB spells big trouble for any playoff hopes. The one saving grace is a relatively easy schedule after next week.
  2. Dallas Cowboys -3…I told you they weren't going to win. As stated in The Profit: girlfriend's father in attendance = doom for Dallas.
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