Posted 10/20 by Michael Brown, Exclusive to Footballguys.com
No mailbag this week, as it was WAY too hectic with "real" work this
week to do much of anything. Mail will return next week, along with my extended
commentary. Keep those e-mails coming!
Any other comments/questions/complaints/death threats should be e-mailed to
me at the following address: email@example.com.
If selected, your e-mail will appear in this space next week.
Rk - Team Name - Record (Last week)
- Indianapolis Colts 5-0 (1)
Well, that was certainly impressive. By the way, go out and trade for
Peyton Manning - now.
- Cincinnati Bengals 5-1 (4)
and Carson Palmer puts another MVP feather in his cap.
- Denver Broncos 5-1 (7)
It hasn't been a great year for Footballguys staff writers. First, I lose
my job as the head of FEMA. Then Mike Anderson gets phased out of Denver's
- New England Patriots 3-3 (2)
Truth be told, they are only still this high based on reputation. If this
were any other team, they'd be outside the top-10. If the Patriots defense
keeps playing this way, that's exactly where they'll be.
- Pittsburgh Steelers 3-2 (3)
The Steeler offense minus Ben Roethlisberger = Jessica Simpson if she got
a breast reduction.
(I had originally typed "Steeler offense minus Ben Roethlisberger = Jessica
Simpson with a breast reduction". But I didn't want to cause a panic.
Don't worry everyone; it's just a hypothetical.)
- Atlanta Falcons 4-2 (5)
For maybe the first time ever, when Michael Vick reinjured his knee on Sunday,
Falcons fans did not panic.
- Philadelphia Eagles 3-2 (6)
No, they don't deserve to move down a spot after being idle, but bumping Denver
was a big priority.
- Jacksonville Jaguars 4-2 (9)
If they could just string together a few of these in a row, we might have
- Dallas Cowboys 4-2 (10)
Ok, so they didn't play flawlessly. And no, allowing New York to tie it was
a poor job. But getting that turnover at the end made up for it, and could
be a spark that sends this team on to do great things.
- San Diego Chargers 3-3 (11)
And to think, they were limiting Tomlinson's touches the first two games.
This team could easily be 6-0. I realize things happen, and they're not
saying, they've been right there every week.
- Washington Redskins 3-2 (8)
No shame in losing to Denver (#2) and at Kansas City. But two losses in a
row is still a concern.
- Seattle Seahawks 4-2 (12)
Here's all you need to know about Shaun Alexander. After seeing the final
stats the other night, my brother wondered why he 'only' had 141 yards.
- Carolina Panthers 4-2 (14)
A win is a win is a win
but it shouldn't take THAT to beat the Lions.
- Kansas City Chiefs 3-2 (17)
I DARE you to come up with a valid argument that Priest Holmes is more talented
than Larry Johnson right now.
- Tampa Bay Buccaneers 5-1 (15)
The loss of Brian Griese is not what is going to doom this team; no, the schedule
should take care of that.
- Miami Dolphins 2-3 (13)
I'm trying not to knock Nick Saban, but right now this group bears no resemblance
to a well-coached team.
- New York Giants 3-2 (16)
Tiki Barber owners, feel free to positively GLOW this week. Brandon Jacobs
isn't a good enough runner to be coughing the ball up at the goal line with
the game on the line. Could goal line carries for Barber be far behind?
- Saint Louis Rams 2-3 (18)
If there has ever been a better example of defensive failure, I don't know
that I've seen it.
- Buffalo Bills 3-3 (22)
I can picture Mike Mularkey at home, keeping himself in suspense until the
very last second. "Hmmm, should I wear the red socks, or the blue? Red
or blue, red or blue, RED OR BLUE, OH MY GOD IT'S JUST SO MUCH FUN!!! I'll
.oh, I can't decide!"
- Oakland Raiders 1-4 (19)
Rarely do you see an offense with such outstanding talent look worse than
the Raiders did for much of Sunday's game.
- New York Jets 2-4 (20)
Who else sees this year's Jets as almost a mirror image of the 2003 Giants?
Complete with overblown expectations and everything!
- Detroit Lions 2-3 (23)
Ok, seriously - does Kevin Jones have bird flu or something???
- Baltimore Ravens 2-3 (26)
Brian Billick's "I'll still get mine" motivational tactic is the
exact same one used by my high school junior varsity baseball coach. In case
you're wondering, that's not a good thing.
- Cleveland Browns 2-3 (24)
If you can name Cleveland's starting receivers, you should probably try to
get out and have some fun this weekend.
- Chicago Bears 2-3 (27)
It's really incredible how much a little Vikings can do for ya.
- Tennessee Titans 1-4 (25)
It was nice to see Pacman Jones so upset on the bench after getting beaten
by Chad Johnson. Still, it was also sort of gratifying to see such a cocky
hothead (who has proven nothing yet) get his comeuppance.
- Minnesota Vikings 1-4 (21)
Listen, I've been on plenty of party boats. And if you think that wild drunken
orgies with prostitutes don't happen on every cruise ship
you're takin' the wrong boat!
- Arizona Cardinals 1-4 (28)
Marcel Shipp goes for a milestone this weekend. He's trying to become the
first Arizona RB this season to accumulate double-digit rushing yards in every
game. I tip my cap in breathless anticipation of this miraculous event.
- Green Bay Packers 1-4 (29)
Don't know why, but I have a good feeling about Ahman Green the rest of the
- New Orleans Saints 2-4 (30)
Joe Horn, I've been asked by my brother to deliver this message to you: "(Expletive
expletive) piece of (expletive) trash, you're a worthless (expletive) and
you should go (expletive)
- San Francisco 49ers 1-4 (31)
The plan for this week is to make sure Alex Smith doesn't die on the field.
- Houston Texans 0-5 (32)
Even if you guys just gave the ILLUSION of competing, that'd be pretty cool.
Super Shufflers Of the Week (+)
- Denver Broncos +4
Took awhile, but they're finally amongst the elite.
And not going to be dropping anywhere anytime soon.
- Kansas City Chiefs, Buffalo Bills, and Baltimore Ravens (tie) +3
Chiefs will come around and contend for a playoff spot, but the Bills and
Ravens really only moved up because others around them lost.
Plungers Of the Week (-)
- Minnesota Vikings -6
It's amazing that they're still playing poorly
enough to drop this far down.
- Washington Redskins and Miami Dolphins (tie) -3
The Redskins probably
deserve more leeway, but it's tough when you're at the top and everyone around
you is a winner. The Dolphins, meanwhile, appear primed for a steep drop over
the next few weeks.