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Random Shots - Week 15

A Twisted Look at The NFL Every Week And All That Goes With It

Hi Folks,

Here's what happens when you sit an NFL Junkie down in front of
multiple big screens with Sunday Ticket and fresh batteries in the

A Twisted Look at The NFL Every Week And All That Goes With It

By Joe Bryant

You think Brad Johnson feels a little old? Johnson and his coach, Mike
Tice were team mates back in 1992. If the Vikings keep winning, this
will be a very interesting off season for Minnesota and their
quarterback position.

Shaun Alexander seems like an up and down kind of guy. At times, he
seems like the model team player doing the Tiki Barber impression. But
then he blows up like he did at the end of last year accusing the
Seahawk coaching staff of "stabbing him in the back" when he failed to
win the rushing title. For most of this year, he's been back to the
model guy. Then last week he's telling the media how badly his
contract talks are going saying "you don't want to know."

If you asked me to picture what I think a guy named Zygi Wilf would
look like, I'd come up with a picture that looked exactly like Zygi
Wilf. If that makes sense to
you, you should probably be worried.

Why does Dan Marino have a Samsung TV in his closet? I mean really.

Maybe it's because I live in the South and we don't get much snow but
I love to see a game like Chicago at Pittsburgh in the snow Sunday.

Classic Jumbotron move in Philadelphia Sunday. As New York's Jay Feely
lined up for the game winning kick, the Eagles called time out to
"ice" the kicker. During the break, the Jumbotron replayed Feely's
missed kicks against the Seahawks. He didn't look up and went on to
nail the field goal. "The music was eerie so I figured they were
playing something like that," Feely said. "I tried to visualize what I
needed to do."

Did you catch Packers' Samkon Gado's 64 yard TD run Sunday night? He
was too tired at the end to do much of a "Lambeau Leap". He said,
"That was more like a Lambeau Skip".

I think it'd be interesting if Eric Moulds winds up replacing Terrell
Owens in Philadelphia.

Seahawk punter Tom Rouen probably felt a little guilty about picking
up his game check this week. Rouen's first punt was with four minutes
left in the third quarter. And then he just had one more punt in the

Non Football Note – This internet thing can be cool, but it's created
a whole new set of problems. This poor guy in France "dated" a woman
over the internet for six months.
When he finally arranged a real life face to face meeting, he
discovered the woman was his mother. "I walked out on that dark beach
thinking I was going to hook up with the girl of my dreams," the
rattled bachelor later admitted. "And there she was, wearing white
shorts and a pink tank top, just like she'd said she would."

"But when I got close, she turned around -- and we both got the shock
of our lives. I mean, I didn't know what to say. All I could think
was, 'Oh my God! it's Mama!' "

"Dad was ticked for a while and he forbid Mom to talk to anybody on
the Internet ever again."

I hate when that happens….

You know the Cardinals are just killing defensive end R-Kal Truluck.
Truluck was elbowed by Washington's kicker, John Hall and had to sit
out the second half with a bruised jaw.

The streak for Super Bowl losers continues. The Eagles became the
fifth consecutive team to lose a Super Bowl and then miss the playoffs
the following year.

Can they just go ahead and put a red "do not touch" jersey on Michael
Vick? It'd save the officials some time.

With that said, whether Mike Vick can return from his rib injury this
week will be a hot topic. Coach Mora expects him to play. "Mike
doesn't miss games," Mora said. "He'll do whatever it takes to get
ready to go." 2003 ring a bell there?

How important is Steve Smith to Carolina? Through three quarters, he
was the only Panther WR to have a pass thrown his way.

Bill Parcells was funny Monday. He said that flea flickers were
"aesthetically pleasing to the fans."

Jason Elam missed an extra point. That's big news.

New England's Tom Brady drew a penalty Sunday for making an illegal
crack back block. You don't see that every day from your QB.

Seahawks center Robbie Tobeck laughed about his quarterback, Matt
Hasselbeck:  "I really hate saying good things about him, because it
goes to his head."

Michael Strahan sounds like he's not ready to jump to the music
business just yet:  "I don't want to do a Christmas album right now
because if I do, people will want me to retire and go into singing
full time."

Miami has seven losses. But they can count wins against teams like
Denver, Carolina and San Diego. Go figure.

Speaking of that San Diego loss, the Chargers held the ball for 40
minutes Sunday and still came up short. That's not easy to do.

Many of the Bengals players are in uncharted waters. Tackle Willie
Anderson is a ten year Cincinnati veteran and he said Sunday that he
hasn't seen double digit wins since his second year of college.

I'm starting to like this Charlie Frye.

Good sign at Lambeau Field Sunday: "In Gado We Trust. In Favre We Believe"

For a guy that stresses protecting the ball like Joe Gibbs, you know
the first quarter was hard to watch Sunday. Between the two teams,
they suffered five consecutive turnovers in the first quarter.

As the Colts and Chargers prepare to play this Sunday, I wonder what
would have happened if Indianapolis had selected Ryan Leaf and San
Diego had chosen Peyton Manning?

Brad Johnson isn't getting carried away with the team's success. When
asked if the atmosphere had changed, he said, "I know the atmosphere
has changed. You can tell the difference between cheers and boos. You
know? But this is a bottom line business."

In a league still full of coaching legends like Joe Gibbs and Bill
Parcells, would it surprise you to know that Marty Schottenheimer has
the most wins of any active coach?  In fact, it's not very close.

The League and Players Association approved a $40,000 bonus for Saints
players that have been on the roster all year. The bonus is reportedly
for "performing under unusual and unanticipated conditions arising
from the Hurricane Katrina Tragedy". That's interesting.

Brooks Bollinger described his scrambling ability. "I'm kinda like
Michael Vick without the athleticism."

These people talking about how Jerome Bettis isn't worthy of the Hall
of Fame need to check themselves.

It's my understanding that there is no truth to the reports that
Reggie Bush will go directly from the NFL Draft in April to his Hall
of Fame induction ceremony in Canton.

I've said before there are lots of different ways to win at this
level. The 2005 Chicago style with that killer suffocating defense
carrying the offense is all well and good until you're trailing by
ten. Then that Bengals style starts looking pretty good.

I can't remember the last time I saw Curtis Martin on the sidelines in
street clothes. It might have been at Pitt.

Thinking about the Jets and their running backs, do you think they
would trade that win Sunday for a shot at Reggie Bush? I know some
fans that think that way. I'm glad the players don't.

It's officially become cruel for the Texans. Someone has to do something.

You saw some classic NFL moments Sunday in Pittsburgh. One was Jerome
Bettis vs. Brian Urlacher at the goal line one on one. Bettis

Speaking of Chicago, I don't understand the fans clamoring for Rex
Grossman. Now there's a proven and durable NFL Quarterback. I'll admit
Kyle Orton has one of the uglier neck beards in the history of
mankind, but I don't think you make a change there yet. Especially not
a change to an unproven candybone like Grossman.

Jets full back B.J. Askew has been a long time member of the All Name Team but Sunday, he definitely came up short
on this drive after doing all the work. Here's the entire drive:

1-10-50  (5:45) Askew left tackle to OAK 46 for 4 yards
2-6-OAK46 (5:04) Askew left end pushed ob at OAK 32 for 14 yards
1-10-OAK32 (4:56) Askew left tackle to OAK 27 for 5 yards
2-5-OAK27 (4:14) Askew left tackle to OAK 19 for 8 yards
1-10-OAK19 (4:07) Askew left tackle to OAK 19 for no gain
2-10-OAK19 (3:58) Askew left tackle to OAK 15 for 4 yards
3-6-OAK15 (3:17) Askew left guard to OAK 6 for 9 yards
1-6-OAK6 (2:32) Askew left guard to OAK 2 for 4 yards
2-2-OAK2 (2:00) Houston right guard for 2 yards, TOUCHDOWN.

Nothing can match that one but here are the other Hard Luck Awards for Week 14

CLE RB Droughns 1 yard rush to the 2 (Frye to Heiden TD)
CIN RB Johnson 5 yard rush to the 4
CIN RB Johnson rush for no gain from the 4 (Palmer to Houshmandzadeh TD)
NYG RB Barber 3 yard rush to the 4 (Manning to Barber TD)
NYG RB Barber 26 yard rush to the 1
NYG RB Jacobs rush for no gain from the 1
NYG RB Jacobs rush for no gain from the 1 (yes, twice) (Manning TD)
JAC QB Garrard 7 yard pass to WR Jones to the 5 (Garrard TD)
JAC QB Garrard 6 yard rush to the 1 (Garrard to Smith TD)
ARZ QB Warner 3 yard pass to WR Boldin to the 4
ARZ QB Warner 2 yard pass to RB Shipp to the 2 (Warner to McCoy TD)
NYJ RB Houston 3 yard rush to the 4 (Bollinger to McCareins TD)
NJY RB Askew 4 yard rush to the 2 (Houston TD)
SD RB Tomlinson 1 yard rush to the 4 (Brees TD)
PIT RB Parker 11 yard rush to the 1 (Bettis TD)
CHI QB Orton 43 yard pass to WR Berrian to the 1 (Jones TD)
DAL RB Jones 2 yard rush to the 1 (Bledsoe to Campbell TD)
HOU QB Carr 16 yard pass to WR Johnson to the 3 (Carr to Davis TD)
DET RB Pinner 4 yard rush to the 4 (Garcia to Roy Williams TD)
NE QB Brady 14 yard pass to TE Watson to the 3 (Brady TD)
NE QB Brady 2 yard rush to the 2 (Brady to Fauria TD)
ATL QB Vick 8 yard pass to RB Griffith to the 1 (Duckett TD)
ATL DEF / DB Hall 47 yard interception TD nullified by penalty

And again, here are two "Good Luck" plays that would qualify as "Hard
Luck" for owners that were facing these guys:

BAL QB Boller 37 yard pass to WR Clayton to the 2 challenged and
reversed to a QB Boller 39 yard TD pass to WR Clayton
ATL QB Vick 1 yard rush to the 1 challenged and reversed to a QB Vick
2 yard rushing TD

Sometimes it's better to just not know….

Thanks for playing along. I hope you have a gas with whatever you're
doing in your life. Here's to Football.


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