Hi Folks,
We do a lot of really insightful, thoughtful and serious features here at Footballguys with some very smart people thinking deeply for you. This is not one of those features.
This is Random Shots and it’s a few pages of me downloading my goofy and dysfunctional mental hard drive that gets stuffed with way too many random items from too many hours watching, reading about and listening to football every weekend and throughout the week. It's the only way I keep relatively sane. Here's hoping it has a tiny bit of value for you.
We’ll see how it goes. Let’s get to it.
J
First things first - Shout out to Pittsburgh, PA. I’ve said before I’m a free agent fan without a true allegiance toward any team. But I love the Steelers for several reasons.
1. They’re “NFL Royalty” in the sense that their tradition and aura is a foundation of the league.
2. Half my family has deep ties to Pittsburgh either living there or being from there.
3. They have arguably the best fan base in the entire league.
I spent the weekend in Pittsburgh for my wife’s family Christmas Party / Family Reunion. This town loves their Steelers. When you walk off the plane, you’re greeted by Franco Harris.
Pittsburgh isn’t a Football town. It’s a Steelers town. And that’s a big difference. Or better said, a Steelers / Pirates / Penguins town. I was out to dinner Thursday night in Pittsburgh thinking I’d catch the Cowboys - Bears game on the television at the bar. Thirteen TVs in the place and every single one was on the Penguins game.
The fans are incredible. Grandmothers at our family Christmas party were breaking down the flaws in Roethlisberger’s decision making and debating the merits of keeping Todd Haley. These folks know and love their football.
I told you a few weeks ago I’d be rocking this bad boy for the party.
I’m a man of my word.
I’ve told you my cousin, Ted Wilson is a regular at the games and usually makes it onto the television broadcast. Here’s a great pic of Ted and his son Cole.
Friday night, Ted was looking normal and I was the Steeler fan.
Ted posted this on social media later:
“It was like a bolt of lightning struck when you walked in wearing that. Well played, Football Guy.”
That’s pretty high praise from a Steelers Superfan. Sweet.
Here’s a pretty marked contrast.
The CBSSportsline page presenting the “Ryan Leaf Released From Prison” story had Peyton Manning advertisements on it.
Here’s hoping Leaf can get his life back on track.
Thanks to Footballguy Jody Ritchie for that one.
Soccer has a cool tradition where players exchange jerseys after the game in a show of respect. I’ve often wondered why our football players don’t do that.
It does happen though. Here’s Dez Bryant and Alshon Jeffery.
Thanks to Footballguy Brian Sumner for that one.
Speaking of Soccer, my favorite Soccer clip this year.
“Like a mustached lion, dragging a gazelle through the Serengeti. Adieu, Scott Sterling. Adieu.”
Thanks to Footballguy Jeremy Johnson for that one.
There isn’t a team in the league I’d like to see do well more than Cleveland. And yes, I know that contradicts my previously stated love for Pittsburgh. That’s the difference between myself and a true fan. I fall back on good old Walt Whitman there.
“Do I contradict myself? Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes.”
With that said, this feels to me like the chronological progression of a Browns fan.
God Bless Y’all.
It’s a first world problem for sure, but everyone struggles with wi-fi connections at times.
I told you last week about the J.J Watt Mic’d Up video.
It was fun the first thousand times I saw it replayed. But can I say that I’m pretty sick of it now?
“All I know is you mess with me - you got problems. That’s all I know.”
“Make sure you got a good view. Get some popcorn. Some Jujubees. A Snow Cap perhaps.”
“A Snow Cap perhaps”? Seriously? Could that be more forced for the microphone?
On the upside though, ESPN’s Bill Simmons killed it with his Mailbag column last week.
Simmons writes:
Dear Hollywood: For God’s sake, write a quickie action movie that Watt can film this spring called Power Wattage. Here’s the plot: J.J. plays a star defensive end named James Wattman who retired prematurely from the fictional APFL (the American Professional Football League) after the evil APFL commissioner (Roger Goodman, played by Bill Pullman) unfairly penalized Watt’s team (the New Orleans Canes) for allegedly hatching a bounty scheme to injure other players that turned out to be WAY overblown, only the team was decimated by suspensions and blew their chance at the APFL title.
Disgusted, Wattman abruptly quits the APFL to become a Navy SEAL, wins the Medal of Honor for some crazy Middle East mission gone wrong, then just-as-abruptly retires from the Navy SEALs. (By the way, this all happens in three months.) He’s living on a sprawling ranch in Texas when President Obama’s new sports czar, Will Bimmons (played by Jason Bateman), approaches Wattman to unretire and “return” to the Canes.
Bimmons’s goal: to bring down Commissioner Goodman by gathering evidence against the APFL for its callous disregard for player safety, concussions, PED use and an illegal painkiller ring that involves 10 APFL teams (including the Canes) as well as the biggest Mafia boss in New Orleans, Santino St. Pierre (played by Alec Baldwin). Here’s the scene in which Bimmons unexpectedly visits Wattman on his ranch to convince him to come back.
Bimmons: You’re a hard man to find.
Wattman: Not that hard.
[They stare at each other. Wattman turns and throws a tennis ball for his dog, who scampers away.]
Wattman: Go get it, Schauby.
Bimmons: You know who I am?
Wattman: It doesn’t matter what I know. You have 90 seconds.
Bimmons: I only need 45.
Wattman: Then go.
Bimmons: I need you to come back to the Canes.
[Wattman spits a big hunk of tobacco juice on the ground.]
Wattman: I’m done with football.
Bimmons: It’s not about football. I need you to bring down Goodman.
Wattman: Goodman? F--- that guy.
Bimmons: Exactly.
Wattman: Why me?
Bimmons: Because you’re the best. I didn’t want to have to go to Gronkowski.
Wattman: Gronkowski? [Laughs.] He’d screw this up.
Bimmons: That’s why I’m here.
Wattman: At least you’re not a total idiot.
[Schauby brings the ball back — Wattman grabs it and chucks it again.]
Wattman: So what’s in it for me?
Bimmons: One last job. That’s it.
Wattman: Then I’m out?
Bimmons: You’re out.
Wattman [thinking]: No thanks.
[Bimmons starts walking away, then turns around.]
Bimmons: I guess it’s not true then.
Wattman: What isn’t true?
Bimmons: That if you mess with J.J. Wattman, you have problems.
Wattman: I said that when I played football.
Bimmons: Yeah, but those are still YOUR teammates. You used to give a s——- about them. They’re in trouble.
[Wattman doesn’t say anything.]
Bimmons: Thanks for your time. I guess I’m flying to New England.
[Bimmons starts walking away. We hear the faint chords of an electric guitar.]
Wattman: Wait.
… And we’re off! Power Wattage, coming in October 2015!!!!!”
That’s beautiful. Rock on Bill Simmons.
I thought this Twitter post was interesting as @NFL the official account of the league called Antonio Brown’s suit “ridiculous”.
I mean, it is pretty ridiculous. But isn’t that kind of cutting edge commentary you expect more from someone like me and not the league’s official account?
Washington is a dumpster fire. Robert Griffin III is a shell shocked shadow of the guy who wowed the league as a rookie. Pressure on the Redskins name continues to mount. And even the Jacksonville owner has a cooler boat than Dan Snyder now.
In other words, it’s been a long time since we’ve seen this.
Sunday, Rams coach Jeff Fisher demonstrated expert level troll skills sending out Janoris Jenkins, Michael Brockers, Zac Stacy, Alec Ogletree, Stedman Bailey and Greg Robinson as captains for the coin toss.
The significance of that group? All six players were drafted with picks obtained in the trade Washington made with St. Louis to move up to draft Robert Griffin III.
After the game, Jay Gruden did not appear amused…
More kicking a guy when he’s down this week from Fran Tarkenton in the SI.com Friday Interview with Jenny Vrentas.
“TARKENTON: I said two years ago that RG3 would not make it. This guy comes from a good family, a good background, a good school, Baylor; he’s a smart young man, physically gifted, he can throw it. But he came into the league with an arrogance. He goes into Washington, which is the worst place for him to go. They have been so hungry for a quarterback, and for winning, they worshipped him. Here’s RG3; he’s our savior, he’s our guy. His father gets involved and is in the locker room—I have never seen a father in a locker room on Sundays. The owner, Dan Snyder, adopts him and becomes his best friend. So RG3, at 21, 22, thought he was Jesus, right? And he was making pontifical statements about how he approached the game. I was listening to him the offseason after his rookie year, which was not a bad year, and I’m saying, “Holy s—, this guy is out of control with his ego.” That was the first sign you saw that he lacked leadership. Then, he was so into himself. You know a quarterback’s job? Make his teammates better. It’s not about you; it’s about your teammates. You’ve got to make them better, and if you don’t make them better, you have no chance. And he was all about RG3. I sympathize with Jay Gruden. Gruden came out and pointed out, which is right, that he has no mechanics. He is a terrible passer, has no accuracy, he doesn’t understand the offense, he doesn’t read defenses, and he has no discipline. When he is supposed to take a three-yard drop, he takes a one-yard drop; if he is supposed to take a five-yard drop, it’s a three-yard drop. There’s no discipline and understanding of the defense because he is a pontificator. He will never make it. He will be out of football. He will be in the same graveyard as JaMarcus Russell and Vince Young.”
I’m with Sergeant Hulka… Lighten up Francis.
I’ve been critical of Griffin. But listening to Tarkenton go on forever, I want to be as unlike that as I can.
You Pro Wrestling guys have had plenty to talk up this year.
Detroit’s Andre Fluellen gave you Video Game guys something to smile about Sunday with his Hadouken sack celebration.
Rock on, Street Fighter.
Here’s where we are for San Francisco fans. The University of Oregon has scored more touchdowns on the 49ers field in two games than San Francisco’s scored there all season.
Peter King wrote this week that Houston’s Jadeveon Clowney earned $14,938,000 this year in salary and bonuses. That works out to $2,134,000 per tackle.
I’m with the Dos Equis Guy.
Oakland’s Sio Moore called Colin Kaepernick a “Freakin chump” on Instagram.
Three things.
#1. This feels dangerously close to Kindergarten. “He called me ________ at ________”
#2. That’s a really artsy Instagram for a Raider.
#3. If I’d come this close to costing my team because I was celebrating instead of getting back to the line of scrimmage, I wouldn’t be calling anyone a “chump”.
Speaking of Kaepernick, this photographer claims the quarterback “gave me the Heisman” as he was walking off the field at halftime.
I’m just thankful he gave us the update that his camera was ok. I’d have been unable to sleep otherwise.
On the 49ers, the “Who’s got it better than us?” stuff seems like a long time ago.
But we all know things change fast. Let’s see.
Here’s a super cool story about priorities. Jason Brown was the highest paid center in the league in 2009 signing a $37.5 million dollar contract. In 2012, at age 29, he was cut by the Rams but had plenty of football left in him receiving interest from multiple teams. Instead, he walked away from the game, bought a 1,000 acre farm in North Carolina, taught himself how to farm watching YouTube videos and now donates the harvest to food pantries.
Rock on, Jason Brown.
This is an interesting camera shot.
Thanks to Footballguy Todd Flessner for that one.
Hockey Note - I don’t think one is recent but the Montreal Canadiens with some sweet throwbacks.
Here’s a little more history if you’re into that.
Has there ever been a team in recent memory to be as happy to finish above .500 than Dallas?
Washington coach Jay Gruden announced this week that he’d be reading what his players posted on Twitter.
"I've read a couple of the things they've written on Twitter in team meetings from time to time, said Gruden. “Just to let them know I'm reading the suckers. So far I think they've been pretty good, with a few exceptions."
Not surprisingly, the internet had a field day with it.
This is one of those examples where it’s all about the record. When Gruden’s watching what his players post on a 3-10 team, Gruden’s insecure, overprotective and paranoid.
When he’s watching what his players post on a 10-3 team, he’s detail oriented, disciplined and runs a tight ship.
It’s all about the wins.
On that note, here’s where it’s down to for Washington fans.
They can’t even the bag over the head thing right.
Oh that wacky Steve Smith Sr…
The Discovery Channel’s “Eaten Alive” show promised an anaconda eating a man. Of course this didn’t happen and people were not happy.
SBNation dug up some fun gifs for us to make up for it.
God Bless the internet.
I live in Knoxville and like most everyone else here, I’m happy that Butch Jones seems to have University of Tennessee Football headed in the right direction.
But here’s a good contrast for two college football programs. Tennessee “earned” a bid for the TaxSlayer Bowl and that was enough to have UT President Joe PiPietro make a video of him doing a Happy Dance.
Alabama received the #1 seed in the Championship Playoff Tourney and the team responded with a golf clap.
And when I say Tennessee “earned” a bid, here’s why the Bowl System is so lame. It seems to be way more about politics and back room deals and networking and fan bases than it does putting the best teams against each other.
UT athletic director Dave Hart and Rick Catlett, President and CEO of the TaxSlayer Bowl are long time friends.
It’s so blatant, they don’t even try to conceal the Good Old Boy network at play.
As reported in the Knoxville News Sentenel: "(UT Athletic Director) Dave (Hart) and I are very good friends and had been for a long time,” (Taxslayer Bowl CEO) Catlett said on a conference call Sunday evening. “We had been talking for several weeks now about the possibility of making this happen.”
So lame.
Von Miller’s on a roll.
Like most things, this looks better on Kate Moss…
Flop Of The Week goes to Seattle’s Ricardo Lockette.
I’m with the Gekko.
Oh those Eagles fans…
Here’s what it looks like when the refs are playing C.J. Anderson in their fantasy leagues…
The NFL’s vice president of communications, Michael Signora, told the Associated Press that the fist bump was “an acknowledgment of good mechanics between the two officials involved in making the call.”
Whatever you say, Michael…
Joseph Fauria, you’re kind of ridiculous.
Kyle Meinke reported that Lions WR Calvin Johnson ran away from Fauria’s twerking saying, “I didn't want to get caught on camera with him”.
Calvin Johnson is fast but apparently not fast enough.
Headscratcher of the week.
Bengals coach Marvin Lewis called Browns QB Johnny Manziel a “midget” during an interview with WLW-AM in Cincinnati.
Lewis was asked about how they’d defend Manziel.
“You gotta go defend the offense. You don’t defend the player,” Lewis said. “Particularly a midget.”
I’m with Austin.
Lewis apologized later.
“I apologize to Johnny, the Browns and all the fans in Cleveland,” Lewis said. “It was just a poor remark. I really didn’t mean anything by it.”
We haven’t had a throw up / fart / butt picture “because Joe’s 12” blurb so far in this one.
Here you go. Thanks to University of Arizona center Carter Wood bailing us out.
Of all the lineman you’d prefer not to throw up, it would be the center before he snaps the ball.
They’re tough in Texas. Arian Foster plowed over team Chaplain Greg Tyler Sunday.
And Tyler popped back up like a player. Nice.
The College Football regular season is over which means it’s time for the annual “Could Alabama beat Washington / Jacksonville / Tampa Bay.
Let’s save everyone some time this year. The answer is absolutely, positively and resoundingly no.
Arian Foster did a full locker room interview with a British accent.
Why? Because he’s Arian Foster. And when you’re Arian Foster, you get to channel Ocean’s Eleven Don Cheadle whenever you want.
Eagles writer Jeff McClane on Chip Kelly mocking the Florida job.
After Sunday’s game, I think I’d be more worried about their pro offense working at the pro level.
I told you a few weeks ago about Aaron Rodgers appearing to troll the Vikings by drinking a grape crush soda at the post game presser after Green Bay beat Minnesota.
But as we said, it wasn’t really troling. Turns out, he drinks one after every game. Along with eating a Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich. Which is even better.
This week, ESPN’s Rob Demovsky reported Rodgers had some words for anyone who thought otherwise.
Kansas City running back Jamaal Charles didn’t mince words on why they lost Sunday: "The reason why we lost is the refs didn't go our way," Charles said.
Wrapping this one with a touching moment from the Monday Night Football crew for their friend Stuart Scott who’s battling cancer.
I loved how the production people were on camera too. That says something about Scott I think. Rock on, Mr. Scott. Hang in there.
Hard Luck Awards for Week 14
Sometimes it's better to just not know...
That'll do it for this week, Folks. Thanks to Footballguys Keith Overton, Doug Drinen, Brian Sumner, Jeremy Johnson, Bill Simmons, Jody Ritchie and Todd Flessner for the help on this one. If you've got a Random Shot of your own, shoot me an e-mail at bryant@footballguys.com.
Thanks for playing along. I hope you make the most of whatever you're doing in your life. Love your neighbor and stick together.