Hi Folks,
We do a lot of really insightful, thoughtful and serious features here at Footballguys with some very smart people thinking deeply for you. This is not one of those features.
This is Random Shots and it’s a few pages of me downloading my goofy and dysfunctional mental hard drive that gets stuffed with way too many random items from too many hours watching, reading about and listening to football every weekend and throughout the week. It's the only way I keep relatively sane. Here's hoping it has a tiny bit of value for you.
We’ll see how it goes. Let’s get to it.
J
Eyebrow raising moment towards the end of the Minnesota - Tampa Bay game when the Buccaneer Cheerleaders took it upon themselves to run out to the 20 yard line, and do the “cheer” thing in between the huddles.
Some sources suggested this was Tampa Bay trying to use their “home field advantage” and distract the Vikings players.
Here’s my question: How does that work exactly?
Somehow just the Minnesota players are affected while the Tampa players are immune?
Is this how it goes in the Buccaneers huddle?
Tampa Player #1: “Dude. Check it out”.
Tampa Player #2: “Check what out?”
Tampa Player #1: That girl in the bikini bottom grabbing her ankles.”
Tampa Player #2: C’mon, Man. That’s just Kymberli and Darla Faye with their butts stuck up in the air. Those are our cheerleaders.
Tampa Player #1. “Oh man. My bad. What pass coverage are we in?” Then a few seconds later does the awkward Ron wave with “Hey, Darla Faye”…
Thanks to Footballguy Mike Benjamino for that one.
Here’s the life of an NFL coach summed up in a picture.
Trailing by four in the fourth quarter with time ticking down, Marvin Lewis doesn’t have time for whatever is making the other guys laugh.
Andrew Hawkins explains to his son that there will be only Hawkins fans under his roof…
Thanks to Footballguy Brian Sumner for that one.
Crazy stat from Andrew Siciliano
Jenny Vrentas of SI / MMQB with a pretty interesting proposal for handling overseas expansion.
I’ve never been a fan of forcing teams into the travel required for this type of thing and I’m not for the proposal Vrentas puts forth here. And since it adds another game to the regular season, I’m going to guess the players will never go for it, nor should they. But it was a different type of idea I thought was interesting. I’m always up for those.
Like everyone else, I was with Faux John Madden in giving up on the Lions Sunday morning.
“London residents grateful for opportunity to experience the Lions as many Americans have grown to know them.”
As you know by now, the Lions and Mike Smith had different plans…
Jeff Schultz nailed it.
Everyone knows Falcons owner Arthur Blank looks like Vincent Price.
For Mike Smith, this can’t be good.
Thanks to ESPN’s Ashoka Moore for that one.
Fortunately, this didn’t happen.
Sorry Ravens fans, this was clearly the right call. If that’s not offensive interference, they should just take it out of the rulebook.
The good news for Bengals fans here is Cincinnati scored.
The bad news is that their quarterback is on the bottom of the pile.
There was buzz this past week about grumblings in the Seattle locker where some players reportedly said quarterback Russell Wilson “wasn’t black enough”.
I think the announcers went a bit too far Sunday though. They mentioned Russell Wilson threw a pass to WR Luke Willson and added, “No relation”. I don’t make these up…
Adam Hoge with a good one after the Bears game Sunday.
There’s no mistaking the Red Zone in Arizona.
God Bless Jet Fans.
Thanks to Footballguy Tank Lankenau for that one.
A recap of today’s Chicago - New England game…
Chris B. Brown with a fun picture of Chip Kelley and his Barney Fife play calling sheet.
The Chicago Tribune polled their readers with the question, “Is Jay Cutler an elite quarterback?”
The results were predictable.
It’s worth noting the poll was started before the New England game.
Here’s what Cutler thinks of your internet poll…
I’m not a guy that spends too much time worrying about the feelings of NFL players pulling down millions of dollars. But Dude’s not looking too good these days.
Hang in there, Buddy.
Let’s get back to this.
God Bless Houston Texans Elvis Fan.
Thanks to William Nichols for that one.
Just Tom Brady and his super model wife trolling for Bears fans after hanging 51 on them.
Wow. I’ve got nothing for that.
I bet Rob Ryan would though…
During Thursday night’s San Diego at Denver game, the Broncos scoreboard briefly showed a picture of Chargers QB Philip Rivers. Peyton Manning was was not pleased.
“Our fans were great,” Manning said. “But the scoreboard operator, it wasn’t his best night.”
“I have no problem with our fans, our fans are great. I’ve got a problem with our scoreboard operator. I’ve got to have a little talk with him,” Manning said, his tone very serious. “I’m not sure what he’s doing. He’s playing music and showing our players dancing and getting the crowd fired up when we have the ball. I don’t think we should be doing that. I don’t think we should be showing their quarterback on the sideline. I thought it was disrespectful.”
Note for Manning. Listen to Sergeant Hulka…
Same thing goes for J.J. Watt. I’ve been a big Watt fan here in this column but the Zach Mettenberger selfie business was just lame.
As you probably know, third string quarterback Zach Mettenberger was thrust into the starting role last week. He took a selfie during the week and then one before the game.
Dude went from rocking the Ben Stiller Dodgeball look:
To this:
I mean I’d let the world know too if I’d been done that makeover.
Mettenberger said he was just having fun.
"The plan was always to clean myself up when I was named starter," he said. "That came a little sooner than I anticipated. With media coming, I wasn't able to get a haircut, so I thought I'd have fun with it.
"Ultimately that's what this game is about -- it's about having fun. Any time you get an opportunity to show some character or personality, you've got to make the most of that."
Watt did not agree.
"It's just kind of a reminder, this is the National Football League, not high school," Watt said. "Welcome to the show."
"I just, I take my job very seriously," Watt said. "If I was a rookie quarterback being named the starter for the first time in the league, I feel like I'd be a little bit more focused than that.
"Maybe he'll learn from it, maybe not. We won the game, so that's all that matters."
So let me get this right, Watt is upset about a guy taking 15 seconds to snap and post a picture. But he’s got time to pay attention to what other players are posting on social media before the game?
Secondly, if I had posted pictures of myself on my own social media wearing this jacket in the past, I wouldn’t be calling out anyone for acting like they were in high school.
Congratulations J.J. You’re the best defensive player in the league. You took arguably the worst starting QB in the league on arguably the worst team in the league and really showed them.
I’m not even sure what I was watching Sunday on ESPN but I looked up to hear Cortland Finnegan talking about how annoying he was. There was a bunch of video highlights with receivers punching Finnegan after he’d said something to them. Finnegan finished the segment saying “An 11 minute video of how to get into a players head. Sponsored by me.”
I can see how a receiver would want to punch him.
Kyle Long with a fun tweet before Sunday’s game.
I hope J.J. Watt doesn’t see this…
I know officiating an NFL game is tough work and you won’t find me doing a lot of criticizing of calls. But this was pretty funny Sunday.
Denard Robinson was clearly tackled by his facemark here.
Referee Jerome Boger explained the no call after the play announcing, “There is no foul for facemask on the play. The runner was ruled to be grabbed inside the chest.”
Apparently “inside the chest” is code for “by the facemask”.
I guess they needed more conclusive evidence. Like this Ole Miss player from Saturday.
I don’t have the heart to tell Philip Rivers the communication speaker in his helmet only works one way. Yeah, like none of you ever yell at your television…
Michael Vick and Geno Smith both turned the ball over three times Sunday. But to be fair, Smith was much more efficient with all his turnovers in one quarter.
I’m with Jim.
The Master Plan is becoming clear now.
Green Bay and State Farm collaborate on the secret kinesiology discovering the Discount Double Check move is guaranteed to tear an ACL when performed by a 240 plus pound human after jumping. They release this move on an unsuspecting public in the form of a seemingly innocuous but never ending ad campaign.
Then Aaron Rodgers introduces the move on the field.
Then lovable B.J. Raji gets into it.
They even went outside the NFL lulling the league into complacency with soccer star Tim Howard.
Once the seed is planted, division rivals Detroit and Chicago are encouraged to express themselves with the celebration.
And bam.
Packers GM Ted Thompson is doing the Mr. Burns…
Vikings fans, thank me later for the headsup.
And zip it, Wrestling Gurus - I know it’s a belt thing. Just let me have have this one.
Peter King with a crazy stat from Sunday: Tom Brady had the same number of incompletions as he did touchdown passes: Five. Wow.
Watching Sammy Watkins and Martavis Bryant on Sundays makes me wonder how Clemson didn’t score 70 points every game last year.
And we all saw Watkins make the incredibly boneheaded play Sunday.
Was it dumb? Absolutely. Is it the end of the world? No way. Watkins is clearly a super talented guy and I think he learned a great lesson here. The Bills still scored on the drive so it didn’t hurt the team. Basically, Watkins received a big lesson with no cost to the team. That’s a best case scenario.
File this under “Things Move Fast Around Here”…
Peter King had a pretty interesting stat Monday. In a league where offense seems to rule and defenders complain the game is too slanted towards scoring points, Seattle vs Carolina is usually a nice throwback.
Here are the scores for the past 3 games:
2012: Seattle 16, Carolina 12
2013: Seattle 12, Carolina 7
2014: Seattle 13, Carolina 9
I talked last week about the fun trick plays for St. Louis with the punt return and the fake punt. Both plays worked so we call Jeff Fisher a genius. And gutsy and tough and aggressive. But I think that’s lazy.
Rex Ryan tried the “Hide one returner in the end zone and then throw the ball to him” kickoff play Sunday and was destroyed by most everyone.
Forget the fact that the play worked for both Andy Reid’s Philadelphia team a few years back. And Texas Christian University was successful with the play this season against Oklahoma.
Ryan explained his reasoning after the game.
“That was on me. I was just trying to give us a spark. With the way Percy was returning the ball, I thought everyone would attack him and not think about a throwback. I think they did an outstanding job of playing it. Percy was heads-up enough to not throw it over there.”
The big error was one I’ve been talking about here lately with uniform colors and blending into the field.
Graham tried to blend into the green end zone with his uniform. Which seemed like a good idea. From the view from the stands.
What the Jets failed to realize is the people you need to hide from are on the field. And their view is quite different. Here’s what the kickoff coverage team saw:
Graham would have been much better camouflaged laying down in the white “S” of the JETS logo in the end zone.
The next time they try that play, Ryan will know better. Assuming he lasts that long.
But please lets stop judging a call purely based on the outcome. Sometimes you get lucky on the outcome of a poor decision. And sometimes good decisions don’t work out.
Time for one of those “A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words” shots. For better or for worse, this is the Dallas Head Coaching job in one photo.
The funny part of this is that it’s not really funny.
God Bless Lions Fans. But especially London Lions Fans.
Jerry Jones did an interview with Jon Gruden and Mike Tirico during the game Monday night.
I would have loved to have heard how this went down. How much arm twisting do you think was involved getting Jones to agree to an interview?
ESPN: “Umm, Mr. Jones. For a live interview during the game on National TV, would it be possib…
Jerry Jones: “YES”
Is it me or did Michael Irvin look a little too comfortable in this hat?
Peter King had this observation in his must read MMQB column this week: “Kyle Orton is 3-1 with a rating of 104.0. Hey Doug Marrone: I said at the time of the E.J. Manuel benching that it was a mistake, but clearly I was a dolt. Orton really belongs.”
I was able to see a rough draft of the MMQB article Sunday night. The line then was “Kyle Orton is 3-1 with a rating of 104.0. Hey Doug Marrone: I said at the time of the E.J. Manuel benching that it was a mistake, but clearly I was a dolt. Orton really belongs. I knew I should have listened to Joe Bryant over at Footballguys.com”
I can’t believe I didn’t make the cut…
That’s a joke obviously. What’s not a joke is that Mr. King (and yes, he’s Mr. King to me) is not just at the top of my profession, he’s also one of the nicest guys around. I’ve had a couple of email interactions with him and he’s always beyond cool to a nobody like me. That’s awesome.
Thank goodness Mark Sanchez didn’t do this.
Ray Lewis was pushing the limit on acceptable tie / shirt / jacket combo Sunday.
He nailed Monday Night though.
I wrote in Week 7 about the hilarious Matthew McConaughey ad where he does the cleaned up Rust Cohle on a shadowy drive with moody music pitching Lincolns.
I said, “You’re better than that. I don’t care how much they’re paying you.”
Jim Carrey nailed it with this series of Saturday Night Live commercials.
For you youngsters out there, believe it or not, there was a time in history where Saturday Night Live did not suck. Thanks for the reminder Jim Carrey.
On that note, the Steeler broke out my favorite uniforms Sunday with the throwbacks.
Glorious.
Which made me think of a time long long ago when Saturday Night Live most definitely did not suck.
Non Football Note. Kelly Slater, you are ridiculous.
Andy Murray beat Tommy Robredo in a long match. Robredo met Murray at the net with a unique post match greeting.
Buffalo’s Boobie Dixon going for the extra yard.
Thanks to Footballguy Matt Brennan for that one.
Matt Tobin and Jeff Maehl with the biggest hit of the game.
Unfortunately, both play for Philadelphia.
Like you, the first thing I think of when I hear “AC/DC Air Guitar” is the New England Musket Gang.
Like everyone else in the civilized world, I love Bill Murray. His intro for the London game was one reason why.
Martellus Bennett, you are ridiculous, too.
I wouldn’t advise this move, but Detroit’s Jeremy ross with a sweet hurdle.
Somehow, the Universe knows…
Thanks to Footballguy Philip Onffroy for that one.
Cleveland fan wants to Legalize Josh Gordon.
Don’t sleep on these Browns. Adding Gordon to this mix will be fun.
Much was made this week about the Seahawks tiring of Marshawn Lynch. The “Marshawn being Marshawn” act does wear thin.
Nothing like swinging your bag at a photographer (and knocking off your Beats and hat) to endear you to the press.
That’s right, Patriots owner Bob Kraft kisses Vince Wilfork.
But there’s more to the story.
It’s a tribute to his late wife, Myra, who along with Mr. Kraft, had a pregame tradition of giving Wilfork a kiss. Now Mr. Kraft gives Wilfork two kisses, one to represent Mrs. Kraft. Rock on.
Moments after this photo was taken, Sebastian Janikowski lined up as a wide receiver.
Bill Belichick moment of the week.
Cornerback Darrelle Revis was kept out of a practice last week after he was late to the facility.
Belichick “talked” about it afterwards:
Reporter: "Bill, what is your version of what happened with Darrelle Revis on Tuesday?"
Belichick: "Anything between me and a player is between myself and the players."
Reporter: "You sent him home, is that correct?"
Belichick: "I didn't say that."
Reporter: "But, he was here and ... "
Belichick: "I'm ready to talk about the Bears. Anything else is between myself and the players."
Reporter: "Will his playing time on Sunday be impacted in any way based on that?"
Belichick: "The Bears are really a good team. I think they are going to be a tough matchup for us. We are going to do the best we can to match up against them."
You can talk to reporters like that when you have these:
But mainly, I just wanted an excuse to post my favorite Belichick Halloween picture.
Just a little Pre Game Jerry.
Speaking of the Dallas Pre Game. ESPN is a multi zillion dollar outfit. And this is the best they can do for a pregame graphic detailing the history of the Cowboys?
They should have just re-run the Ditka Pumpkin Patch bit from Sunday Morning.
Last one. Note for Roger Staubach - Supercuts called about your missed appointment. From January.
But God Bless Jerry World. That’s one big screen. And the Trumpet Player nailed the Anthem.
Here’s a real home field advantage where the Packers could not hear Aaron Rodgers.
Peyton Manning may know most things. Why San Francisco called a timeout there is not of them.
I’m sure it would be fun to work for an NFL team. I’m not sure how fun the “walk around and unscrew the tops on the gatorade bottles” job would be though.
As far as Harvin adjusting to the Jets, the Onion ran a nice story this week citing the Jets amazement with Harvin’s willingness to fight in the huddle…
“NEW YORK—Citing the 26-year-old’s relentless attitude and utter refusal to ever give in, New York Jets head coach Rex Ryan told reporters Thursday that the team has been amazed by newly acquired wide receiver Percy Harvin’s willingness to fight inside the huddle. “He’s only been with us for a few days, but Percy hasn’t been afraid to get in there and fight tooth and nail before every snap,” said Ryan, adding that his coaching staff has been “blown away” by the former Seahawks star’s intensity and aggression whenever coming up against his teammates on offense. “No matter what the circumstance, you can always count on Percy to be incredibly physical and really get in the faces of the quarterback and offensive linemen after a play has been called. The guy just won’t quit—he’s an absolute monster out there.” Ryan went on to express his pity for the Jets players who will face Harvin this Sunday, stressing that the receiver will be ruthless on every single down until taking himself out of the game midway through the fourth quarter.”
God Bless the Onion.
Jon Gruden is a modern day Yogi Berra with this one: “Anything goes on any given Sunday. Especially on a Monday Night.
I called Tom Brady a Flopper last week.
But Brady’s got nothing on LSU Dude.
God Bless Cowboy Fan.
Colt McCoy hasn’t had a lot of experience celebrating NFL touchdowns.
Cut the guy some slack.
I’ll wrap this up with one more from Jerry Jones.
Jerry may need Johnny. And we need you. Thanks for reading.
Hard Luck Awards for Week 8.
Sometimes it's better to just not know...
That'll do it for this week, Folks. Thanks to Footballguys Doug Drinen, Tank Lankenau, William Nichols, Mike Benjamino, Matt Brennan, Philip Onffroy and Brian Sumner for the help on this one. If you've got a Random Shot of your own, shoot me an e-mail at bryant@footballguys.com.
Thanks for playing along. I hope you make the most of whatever you're doing in your life. Love your neighbor and stick together.