A tragedy occurs every year. A horrifying one. A horror so terror-filled that just thinking of it gives fantasy managers chills. Then nightmares. Then chillmares.
That's when you have a dream about getting the crap kicked out of you by Frosty the Snowman.
Fantasy managers roll into draft day brimming with confidence and hope. They leave it jubilant--certain that the roster they have assembled will contend for a championship. They talk smack for a while and wait for their squad to show what it can do with a dominant Week 1. And then, it happens...
As it turned out, those fantasy managers drafted one of The Walking Dead--an undead abomination who quickly devours any chance they have of making the playoffs. Then, after the entire roster is zombiefied from quarterback to kicker, things get even worse.
They start dancing.
Shudder.
Spending an early-round pick on a player who goes on to come nowhere near meeting expectations is a surefire way to kill a season. Ask the folks who took San Francisco 49ers running back Christian McCaffrey first overall in 2024. Or the folks who made Miami Dolphins wide receiver Tyreek Hill the third overall pick last season.
Now, sometimes, this disaster is unavoidable. There's no way of knowing that some players have been infected with the B-Virus (as in "bust"--I'm a clever one). Some don't contract the malady until the season has already started.
But some players are already shambling, moaning, and gnawing on forearms in August.
And wise fantasy drafters will steer well clear of them.
Walking Dead Quarterbacks
Josh Allen, Buffalo (ADP: QB1)
Stop looking at me like that.
Yes, Allen is the reigning NFL MVP. But he's not the reigning king of fantasy quarterbacks--the 29-year-old finished the 2024 season fourth in fantasy points at the position. Allen also finished last season 14th in the NFL in passing yards (3,731) and seventh in passing touchdowns with 28. The Buffalo passing attack isn't exactly loaded with talent, either. Allen's fantasy value lives off rushing yards and even more off rushing touchdowns.
None of this is to say that Allen isn't a great NFL quarterback or an elite fantasy option. But even if it was guaranteed that Allen was going to finish 2025 as the No. 1 fantasy quarterback, unless he does so by a massive margin, he isn't going to be worth a second-round pick. The gap between him and the mid-level and lower-end fantasy starters under center just isn't enough to justify his price tag.
Baker Mayfield, Tampa Bay (ADP: QB7)
Mayfield accomplished something that very players have--escape the vortex of suck that is Cleveland. In 2024, Mayfield had easily the best season of his professional career--4,500 passing yards, an NFC-leading 41 touchdown passes, and the third-most fantasy points among quarterbacks. With the Buccaneers adding wide receiver Emeka Egbuka to an already loaded offense, Mayfield's future appears brighter than ever.
Mayfield is also a classic example of drafting a player at his ceiling because of what he's done--and not because of what he's likely to do in the season to come. In 2023, in essentially the exact same circumstances as a year ago, Mayfield barely cleared 4,000 passing yards, threw 28 touchdown passes, and was 12th in fantasy points among quarterbacks. He also won't have quarterback-whisperer Liam Coen calling the plays in Tampa this year.
Walking Dead Running Backs
Saquon Barkley, Philadelphia (ADP: RB2)
In The Walking Dead, horses can't be turned into the undead--Walkers will attack them, but they just wind up, you know, eaten. However, if horses could come back after being infected, this one would--because I have spent the entire summer beating it to death. But one more time, for the people in the back row drafting Barkley third overall on average.
Drafting Saquon Barkley in the first round is a fantasy disaster waiting to happen. It's traversing a minefield on a pogo stick.
There are entirely too many things working against Barkley in 2025. There's his monster workload from a year ago--a staggering 436 carries, including the playoffs (the same number as DeMarco Murray in 2014). There's the massive drop-off for the other eight members of the "2K Club." The regression for players who lead the league in rushing. A 30 percent drop-off in Barkley's fantasy numbers is closer to a best-case scenario than the worst. The worst is the Zombie Apocalypse.
Omarion Hampton, LA Chargers (ADP: RB15)
Hampton didn't enter the NFL with the avalanche of hype that Ashton Jeanty of the Las Vegas Raiders did, but he wasn't that far behind. After gaining over 1,500 rushing yards and scoring 15 touchdowns on the ground each of the last two years at North Carolina, Hampton was the Chargers' first-round selection in April's draft. And with Najee Harris continuing to nurse an eye injury suffered in a fireworks accident, the fantasy enthusiasm around Hampton continues to grow.
Frankly, Hampton was overvalued before Harris got hurt. Since then, it's gotten that much worse. It's not like Hampton wasn't already going to be the lead back in Los Angeles. And the Bolts like to run the ball. But unless you believe that Harris will miss a chunk of the season or be completely relegated to fantasy irrelevance, he's a back with four 1,000-yard seasons and zero missed games. He's going to be a factor in a Los Angeles offense that isn't going to run their shiny new rookie into the ground from Day 1.
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