Random Shots From Week 5

Joe Bryant looks at the fun from last week's action.

Joe Bryant's Random Shots From Week 5 Joe Bryant Published 10/14/2026

Nathan Ray Seebeck-Imagn Images random shots

Hi Folks,

We do a ton of insightful, thoughtful, and serious features here at Footballguys with smart people thinking deeply for you.

This is not one of those features.

This is Random Shots, and it's a few pages of me sharing all the random goofiness from this week. With maybe a music note and sometimes a "soap box" wrap at the end.  

Here's to Football.

J

This week's column in 90 seconds.

My life. Probably your life too.

Mike Evans is cold.

Thanks to Joey Wright for that one.

Things move pretty fast around here.

Thanks to Aaron Rudnicki for that one.

More of this, please.

Random Shots for Hockey would write itself.

Not even trying here.

Sabretooth with the perfect reply: "I’m just shaking what my mama gave me"

Thanks to Clayton Gray for that one.

I'm guessing that's not the first time they've heard that in Greensboro...

Perfection.

Thanks to Matt Carey for that one.

Don't worry, Philadelphia. Big Dom is on the case.

His message to Eagles fans: "We're gonna get this fixed. I promise you."

But let's be real. With this schedule, it's already fixed.

Just look at this murderer's row the Eagles have to survive.

WK  OPPONENT
-------------------------
 6  Carolina (Home)
 7  Dallas (Home)
 8  Washington (Away)
 9  NY Giants (Home)
10  BYE WEEK
11  Pittsburgh (Home)
12  Dallas (Away)
13  Arizona (Away)
14  Indianapolis (Home)

Godspeed, Philadelphia.

For comparison, this is what the Falcons will face over the same stretch.

WK  OPPONENT
-------------------------
 6  Chicago (Home)
 7  San Francisco (Home)
 8  Tampa Bay (Away)
 9  Cincinnati (Home)*
10  Kansas City (Home)
11  BYE WEEK
12  Minnesota (Away)
13  Detroit (Home)
14  Cleveland (Away)

And of course, a team can only play the games they're scheduled. But schedule matters a lot.

And the Eagles should cruise.

Classy move by the Packers.

Music Note of the week is a regular for me. Trampled By Turtles is a Bluegrass band, but "Wait So Long" is basically a punk rock song. 

Some songs you hear. Some you feel. The desperation of a town that's seen better days is palpable in this one.

Around the 1:30 mark, Dave Simonett spits the "t" in "town" like he’s been stuck there his whole life. One consonant but all the frustration in the world. 

So good.

Amid the finger-pointing and blaming after the Washington end-of-game debacle, Sheil Kapadia made a great point.

Maybe the winner in this was Colts owner Carlie Irsay-Gordon. You've probably seen the flak she's getting for wearing a headset on the sidelines to better understand her team. (More on that later)

Kapadia makes the excellent point that if you owned the Commanders and you were responsible for making decisions about how the team operates, would you want to have been in the loop during those chaotic final seconds?

Or, more to the point, what PFT Commenter said.

The real answer.

Let's talk about Carlie Irsay-Gordon.

She's catching a lot of heat for having the audacity to want to be on the sidelines and have a headset where she can hear the discussions among coaches. 

For the team she owns.

I don't get the outrage. If I owned an NFL team, I'd absolutely want to be right there in the middle of it. And remember, she's listening, not talking.

Toyota has a famous management principle called Genchi Genbutsu, basically "go and see." Get out where the actual work happens and understand it firsthand.

Sam Walton was famous for spending time in Walmart stores, talking to employees and seeing how things really worked. Mark Zuckerberg was deeply involved in the development of Facebook's Like button.

Good leaders want to understand their business. They don't just sit in an office waiting for someone to tell them what's happening.

And that widely circulated photo of her talking to a coach in London? That was before kickoff, not some midgame confrontation. But it gets more clicks if it's made out to be the owner "nagging" a coach during the game.

I get that owners can meddle too much. But there's a big difference between interfering and being interested.

Maybe dial back the pearl-clutching.

This one lived up to the hype.

Watching San Francisco and Seattle, they just looked different.

Interesting.

I think Big Cat has it right. "Need to appeal on the grounds that performance was not in fact enhanced"

This take went over on X exactly as I thought it would.

"Ratioed," as the young people say. 

But the comments were gold.

A bigger point: Comedy is tricky.

97% of this column is jokes and other goofy stuff. But I try not to be mean. And, maybe even more importantly, I try to punch up.

For instance: There was a viral clip this week of a Winston-Salem State groundskeeper trying to paint the sideline yard markers. You can Google it.  But trust me, “Trying” is doing a lot of work in that sentence.

Funny? Sure. But c’mon.

Oregon’s quarterback makes more than Winston-Salem State’s entire athletic budget. And lately he’s been about as productive as the groundskeeper. That's probably the joke.

Aim higher. There’s plenty of material up there.

I firmly believe we're living in the Good Old Days. Right now.

But this was a sweet time to be alive.

The craft of an NFL wide receiver.

Another one for Jet and Rams. This game is difficult.

Next year.

I respect his commitment to the schtick.

I don't need to speak the language.

"Es-spec-tac-u-lar" is universal.

These are so great.

I hate Alabama. But respect where it's due. This was class.

I guess Ja'Maar Chase was ok.

OU guy living his best life.

This had to be sweet for Matt LaFleur.

Meanwhile...

I think it's actually 2-6 in the regular season against the NFC North, but you get the point. 

No, this isn't real. Although it's not as exaggerated as one might think.

And no, I wouldn't rather have a concussion.

But it'll be interesting to see where things go with the bigger helmets / Guardian Caps.

random shots

You know it's bad when the parody site calls you on it.

Ernest Jones IV barely reacting to this ridiculous headbutt from Dre Greenlaw was one of the more impressive things I saw this weekend.

Parker Washington. Wow.

What are you doing, Brenton Strange?

Thanks to Clayton Gray for that one. 

Thank you, Internet.

Chef's Kiss

random shots

Shocker.

These two teams deserve each other.

Thanks to Clayton Gray for that one. 

Glitch in the Matrix.

On Sunday, Bears QB Case Keenum finished with 108 yards, 0 TDs, and 1 INT.

The last QB to post that exact stat line? J.J. McCarthy.

Chicago's other QB in the game, Tyson Bagent, finished with 87 yards, 0 TDs, and 2 INTs.

The last QB to post THAT exact stat line? Also J.J. McCarthy.

The odds of both happening in the same game? Roughly 1 in 417 million.

Because I know you folks need to know that kind of thing.

The closer per @Senga2Alvarez: "How appropriate is it that the number of times each has happened before just so happens to match both numbers worn by McCarthy"

Spooky.

Thanks to Aaron Rudnicki for that one. 

Accurate.

My weekly "Special Teams Matter" reminder.

 

Both of these are fantastic. 

It took two days for Marvin Harrison Jr.'s trade destination to become public.

They were so ready for this celebration.

Accurate.

Not great.

Trey McBride is good at Football.

Wrapping with this one. 

Lions radio play-by-play announcer Dan Miller lost his wife to cancer last week. Coach Dan Campbell presented Miller a game ball at the postgame press conference. Miller is a beloved figure in Detroit, and Campbell and the team had been supportive through the journey. 

Campbell said, "Let's start with this. This ball goes to Dan Miller and his family. That was hard to hear, what they went through. It's been a tough road for Dan. This is for him. Salt of the Earth, man. Dan is salt of the Earth. I know this has been hard, but now I know Cindy is at peace. We love you, Dan. Appreciate you."

Sports is bigger than just sports. I sincerely hope your friends don't need support and encouragement like this for things like that. But I'm sadly pretty sure some will. My hope and prayer for me and you is that we be the kind of people they can count on.

Thank you for being part of this goofy journey with us.

And thanks to Footballguys Keith Overton, Phil Alexander, Dave Kluge, Sigmund Bloom, Matt Carey, Aaron Rudnicki, and Clayton Gray for the help. If you've got a Random Shot of your own, email me at bryant@footballguys.com.

Thanks for playing along, and I hope you make the most of whatever you're doing in your life. Love your neighbor and stick together.

Peace and Grace to you.

J

Photos provided by Imagn Images
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