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Best Of Random Shots

Joe Bryant's Best Of Random Shots
By Joe Bryant, January 3, 2024

Best Of Random Shots
Photo: USA Today Sports

Hi Folks,

I say the same thing every year, but I think it's fitting the regular season wraps up around the Holidays. Because for me, the NFL season is sort of like Christmas: Tons of anticipation, and then it seems to be over before I know it.

Part of the fun in writing this column is that I know I'll get to share some thoughts with folks like yourself who love football as much as I do. And that strikes me as a very good thing. I've had a blast throwing out my goofy observations this season. And I've smiled at the emails from people telling me they've thought some of the same things as they were watching the games.

As I wrap up the regular season this Week 18, I've pulled up some of the more interesting things I remember seeing during the year. It's my sincerest hope that you've enjoyed reading this column a fraction as much as I enjoyed writing it.

It's a shared experience thing. I'm not telling jokes here. I'm talking about stuff you and I both have probably seen. Not to get too dramatic about a football column, but it's bigger than a football column. It's community. And things bigger than football. So here we are.

And if you're up for it, we'll do it again next season. And if you've got thoughts and ideas on how this thing can be better or just want to yell at me about my preseason Kyle Pitts ranking (again), feel free to shoot me a note at bryant@footballguys.com.

Here's to Football,

J

FROM WEEK 1

I posted this often, and it felt spot-on every time.

If a fantasy football season were 9 seconds like this video, we're about half a second in. But so far, this feels pretty accurate.

Still one of my favorites this year. Make sure to have the sound on.

Ja'Marr Chase was salty.

"We just lost to some elves".

(Week 18 Note: Some of you may know my Dad died last month. I'm okay, and everything is okay. But this caught my eye from the 2022 Random Shots)

My sweet 81-year-old Dad is awesome. Still sharp as a tack. Most of what I know about business and service, I learned from him.

He doesn't really do much internet stuff and doesn't fully understand our business. But he's proud of me and what we've built here. He loves it that his friends think Footballguys is cool.

He's not much of a sports fan but will casually watch a game here and there.

Our conversation Friday morning:

Dad: "Dang. That quarterback from Buffalo is something. Man, oh man. You're on that kid, right?".

Me: "Yes, Dad. We're on him".

(Week 18 Note: Anthony Richardson. What could have been)

We're in a golden age for camera technology.

FROM WEEK 2

They say men can't multi-task. My buddy Andrew Cooper proves they're wrong.

My new favorite player. Chris Howell was made for Random Shots.

Brett Kollman had the line of the day, "Philip Rivers walked so this man could fly."

Shannon Sharpe is a treasure.

I'm ready to change the name of this column from "Random Shots" to "Talking To America."

FROM WEEK 3

The Dolphins aren't just great. They're fun, too.

Time for confession. There's some part of me that posted the Tyreek Hill clip just so I'd have an excuse to share this all-time clip from Robby Anderson.

(Week 18 Note: Determining which unlikely hot players are actually legit and which are just on a temporary hot streak remains one of the toughest parts of Fantasy Football. Narrator voice: "Puka Nacua was legit.")

I see you Puka Nacua...

ArtButSports was made for Random Shots. They take classic paintings and match them to sports photos.

This one is spectacular.

Thanks to Footballguy Sigmund Bloom for this one.

Captain Andrew Luck is an all-time Twitter force. He's back for Madden, and it's beautiful.

Then, this pushed it over the top. So good.

FROM WEEK 4

I love how Jonathan Taylor showed back up to work like George Costanza acting like he'd never quit...

Plus...

Find someone who loves you like Mike Tomlin loves Zay Flowers.

"He runs into dark places at full speed" is my new favorite line.

Dan Orlovsky. Not great at staying in bounds. Or picking a pant color that doesn't make him look naked.

FROM WEEK 5

More October talk and Michael Myers with a behind-the-scenes look at what makes him great.

"Pennywise talking like, 'Oh, I'm big time.'"

"You livin' in a sewer.

"My condo 4,800 a month. You're not moving like me."

If games were won or lost on how a team takes the field, Virginia Tech would never lose in Blacksburg.

Listen at max volume.

No wonder the Lions are rolling.

Miami's Mike McDaniel is the official Random Shots Head Coach.

He was asked about the Dolphins' incredible statistical output and had this reply:

FROM WEEK 6

I'm not sure when every athlete and coach became so thin-skinned and felt the need to be offended by every possible slight and keep the "receipts."

Maybe the digs need to be more creative. I miss Chad Johnson.

I felt this one a little too much.

Dude was not giving up the Creamsicle.

FROM WEEK 7

Finally, we know what she saw on the plane.

I could stop right here with the "Mustache Fran Tarkenton and Hippie Andy Reid" and call it a day.

I love Amon-Ra St. Brown. What a good sport.

I can barely watch these. But I'm thankful for players who give back like this.

Side note: Look at how kind Fred Warner is here. Something about the situation must have made him think the young man was especially a fan of George Kittle, and Warner, one of the best players in the league, happily pushed Kittle to the front.

Prayers up for Jalen Carter. He later said he was thinking of what Lebron James would do.

FROM WEEK 8

Foxboro Wednesday morning...

My buddy Jeff knows things.

I'm not one that sits around and whines for the "The Good Old Days".

The Good Old Days are now.

But the game has changed.

Roughing The Passer in 2023:

Roughing the passer in 1976:

Bonus this week as the Music Note is also a Movie Note.

The Royal Tennenbaums is one of my top five all-time movies. Like everyone, I like Paul Simon. I mean, who doesn't like Paul Simon? But I don't love Paul Simon.

But I'm not sure there's a better music montage in history than this one.

Here's the audio for the whole song - Me and Julio Down by the Schoolyard.

That look.

FROM WEEK 9

Sometimes, this thing just writes itself...

Has anyone ever seen Texans punter Cameron Johnston and Bill Burr in the same room?

"Country Roads" is universal.

My good friend and OG Footballguys Staffer and OSU Superfan Doug Drinen after the Oklahoma State game...

Ok, that's not really Doug. But that's how he felt.

FROM WEEK 10

Bingo.

There's still hope for you.

Jamaal Williams remains Random Shots RB1. He had to scold the camera guy here for filming too early.

FROM WEEK 11

(Week 18 Note: It did not last. But it was fun.)

I'm thankful for the Passtronaut, Joshua Dobbs.

X-Ray results.

Love that they used the UT graphic here.

Nailed it.

NFL as characters from Cars.

Plus Gronkowski.

And this one is perfect.

Tyreek Hill with a sweet behind-the-back catch.

We need to bring Marino out for the throw...

This feels a bit too real some weeks.

FROM WEEK 12

The emphasis on the "t" is everything.

Perfect.

Caleb Williams and Marvin Harrison Jr. thinking about the NFL Draft.

Jameis Winston keeps getting better.

Thanks to Jake Bryant for that one.

Nailed it.

I think this writer is on to something.

FROM WEEK 13

Hmmm.

One. Of. Us.

Missouri coach Eli Drinkwitz making a strong push to break into the Random Shots big league for coaches.

FROM WEEK 14

One more time.

Travis Kelce talked about it with his brother.

Two things struck me.

1. It wasn't a planned lateral. That is insane.
2. For all the shade thrown at Toney, Kelce seems sincere when he says he loves the guy.

"Sorry Joe" is part of Footballguys legend. The story is that I ask our podcast folks to keep things PG-rated. My long-time guys, Cecil Lammey, and Sigmund Bloom, are so kind to me and respect my asking for our shows. But every once in a while, something slips, and they say a quick "Sorry, Joe." It's a sweet picture of how, instead of them grumbling about me being Mr. Rogers, they have fun with it and embrace it. I love those guys.

Mavericks guard Luka Doncic had his "Sorry Joe" moment last week.

Although he does have the excuse of English not being his first language...

And just in time for the Holidays, we've got "Sorry Joe" shirts.

Dave knows.

Some people think Justin Fields isn't good. Some think he's great.

At least we can all agree his visor game is next level.

Listen to Dak Prescott. Good on him. Get tested and listen to your doctor.

Plus, it's a great ad.

FROM WEEK 15

One of the more ridiculous plays I can remember.

Tough week for the top quarterbacks.

And

NFL Screen Writers making Rudolph the Steelers starter on December 23 is a next-level flex.

Bart knows.

Plus this.

FROM WEEK 16

Joe Flacco + Amari Cooper + Artificial Intelligence Art is a wild combination.

Be like Jordan Travis.

I have at least one thing in common with Matthew Stafford.

I'll wrap up this year again with one of my favorite stories. And one I tell here often.

Heading into the last day, a doubleheader, of the 1941 baseball season, 23-year-old Ted Williams' batting average was .39955. He could have sat out the meaningless last two games of the last day, and his average would have rounded to the hallowed .400 mark.

From the sabr.org article: "In his autobiography, My Turn At Bat, Williams recalls Joe Cronin telling him, 'You don't have to be put in if you don't want to. You're officially .400.' Ted reports his reaction: 'Well, God, that hit me like a ***damn lightning bolt! What do you mean I don't have to play today?'"

But you probably know the story. Williams put his .400 mark at risk and played. Both games. And went 6 for 8, finishing the year at .406.

That's badass.

How that applies to you and me is simple. I feel pretty safe in saying we're not going to hit .400 in the majors. But we all get to walk to the plate every day and take some swings.

Take yours.

That'll do it for Random Shots for the season.

Dang. This was a year. And I said that last year, too.

But we're still here. And that's something worth celebrating.

Shauna Niequist is a writer I enjoy. She wrote this a few years ago, but I think it applies to this year more than ever. For some, it's been a great year. For some, a tough year. For some, like me, both. If it's been tough, I think this may resonate.

“My prayer is that what you've lost, and what I've lost this year, will fade a little bit in the beauty of the Christmas season, that for a few moments at least, what is right and good and worth believing will outshine all the darkness, within us and around us.”

That's my hope for you. That the pain of what you've battled this year may fade a bit as we seek out and focus on what's right and good and worth believing. That what's right and good will outshine the darkness. And to celebrate and lift up the good. Happy New Year to you and yours from all of us at Footballguys. Rock on.

I want to thank all the folks who sent me funny things they saw this year. Y'all rock, and you make my job easier. And thanks to all of you for the kind words throughout the season - you encourage me. Sincerely.

This may be the last Random Shots of the season, but Lord willing, I'm not going anywhere. You can always reach me by email at bryant@footballguys.com. Stay in touch with us on Facebook by clicking "like". And you can keep up with me on Twitter or keep up with my non-football stuff here on Instagram.

I realize I've often strayed from sports and climbed on the soapbox maybe a bit more than I should. I intentionally left most of those off this collection as most of the rants were more of a context thing. But I felt like we sort of went through this season together. There were tough moments. And plenty of light moments. It wasn't all fun, but I think I can say it's been good to be together.

I'm completely down with Ram Dass, who said: "In the end, we're all just walking each other home at night." Thanks for walking with me.

I hope you make the most of whatever you're doing in your life while you love your neighbor and stick together. And may you find someone who hugs you like throwback Aaron Rodgers hugged Aaron Jones.

Peace and Grace to you.

J

Photos provided by USA TODAY Sports
Tags Fun Timeless Brandon Aiyuk Derek Carr Jalen Carter Ja'Marr Chase Amari Cooper Kirk Cousins Joshua Dobbs Justin Fields Joe Flacco Zay Flowers Rob Gronkowski Tee Higgins Tyreek Hill Aaron Jones Benito Jones Travis Kelce George Kittle Patrick Mahomes II Gardner Minshew Kyler Murray Puka Nacua Kyle Pitts Dak Prescott Anthony Richardson Aaron Rodgers Mason Rudolph Matthew Stafford Amon-Ra St. Brown Jonathan Taylor Fred Warner Deshaun Watson Jamaal Williams Zach Wilson Jameis Winston

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